Have you ever had someone end a relationship with that cliché “It’s not you it’s me”? What a line huh? You’re like come on already, just be real with me! Have the courage to level with me, instead of feeding me this drivel.
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Let’s face it, sometimes relationships don’t work because there are some differences that cannot be resolved.
- Different values related to key relationship issues (monogamy, marriage, parenting, etc.)
- Different values related to key world issues (politics, justice, race, etc.)
- Different values related to key household issues (finances, cleaning, lifestyle, etc.)
- Or it’s some weird combination of all three.
But sometimes, relationships don’t work out, simply because that cliché is true. If you dig a little deeper you may find that in some scenarios, the phrase might read best as, “It’s not you, it’s youth”.
It wouldn’t be news to anyone if I told you that there were some 30, 40 & 50 year old children runnin’ loose all over the planet. I’m not trying to judge any one, but there’s plenty of evidence that maturity and age don’t travel on synchronous, parallel tracks. I’ve met immature people all across the age spectrum.
Sometimes that inner adolescent in all of us, grabs a hold of the decision making reigns and interesting things happen. I certainly can recall ending a couple of relationships in ways that still make me cringe! I’ll spare you the details to protect the innocent!
So if you’ve heard those fateful words, don’t fret! Live your life and know that the only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
"Opinions are the cheapest commodities on earth."
- Napoleon Hill
American Author
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It is truly amazing what God sends you @ the right time. I recall having this very same conversation on today, Tues, May 19 with someone, I will name no names, this person knows whom I am speaking of. The conversation was based on, yes my current relationship, and this cliche’ was used during this conversation, but I must say as I honestly stated to the other person involved in the conversation that it TRULY is me, not her. But one thing I must say in reference to this article. I do not fully agree that it is a level of age, maturity, etc. Sometimes it could be that some choices were made during the relationship that later came to pass and now you realize that a mistake was made and the only way you feel that those mistakes can be made right is to end the relationship. Not saying that the other person was the cause of said mistakes, but you have come to a realization that your personal development is in question, maybe it is you that needs to do some self changing, some self focus, some major life “recon”. But that just my opinion. Thanks for this article, and to that friend that I was sharing in this conversation with on today, I would like to say thank you very much for your listening ear, encouragement, and your love.
Baggar, Thank you for your comment! There are all kinds of reasons that relationships end and each of mine have ended in different ways and for different reasons. Your comment outlined some really valid reasons for why your relationship isn’t working for you and I’m sorry to hear that things are ending.
It does seem like the cliche applies to your situation, just not the version of it that I put forth in this article. You often hear of people having “senior” moments as they age. This article was more about those emotionally “juvenile” moments that occur in relationships and sometimes bring them to an end. Your description of your situation conveys a level of awareness & maturity that I wouldn’t characterize as “juvenile”. Good luck in your relationship work and in your “life recon” (great phrase by the way). Thank you again for sharing your comment!