Have you ever looked back at your reaction to something with a feeling of amazement? Was that really me? Did I really say that? Was I on autopilot or something? You know, you feel like you were just kinda watching as something else made your body and mind act out some weak, poorly written drama. How did that happen? Why did that happen?
[Photo Credit]
There are all kinds of reasons why that behavior might have manifested . . . the end of a relationship, the economy, drama in the workplace, stress . . . all kinds of reasons. But what if something else was at the root of the problem?
When I was a kid, my brother and I used to tag along with my dad to all of these meetings. My father was a political activist and community organizer. He would pass out flyers (I remember my dad calling them leaflets) to encourage people to get involved in something righteous. He would walk the streets raising money to help the wrongly accused secure better legal representation. He would march in picket lines to prevent public hospitals from being closed. He worked with unions to make sure workers were treated fairly.
Each step of the way, my brother and I were right by his side! We walked up and down the street collecting change in bins from people interested in supporting our cause. We walked in the picket lines. We helped make signs and watched our dad make magic with this old school printing press, cranking out thousands of leaflets with uncanny precision. Those were the days.
Now imagine this scene . . . my brother and I are at a meeting with our dad. We’re playing with some other kids; totally engrossed in the fun we’re having. Then, we hear a sound and everything changes. The sound is my father whistling; not just any random whistle or his favorite song. It’s a specific series of tones . . . in total, approximately 2 – 3 seconds in length. It’s the signal that it’s time to go. When my brother and I hear this sound, we instantly stop what we’re doing, tell the kids we’re playing with "we gotta go", immediately locate our father and prepare to leave. Thinking back, it was really amazing how this all worked. We didn’t question or whine about wanting to stay longer. We simply executed a conditioned response.
Conditioned Response
Hmmmm, conditioned response. I know I learned about that somewhere. Oh yeah, that wonderfully interesting psychology class I took in college. The professor introduced us to Pavlov, a Russian scientist who performed experiments with dogs. In case you’re unfamiliar, Pavlov observed that the dogs he worked with would start to salivate when they saw food. He then wanted to see if something other than seeing the food could make them salivate. So he introduced an external stimulus . . . the ring of a metronome just as the food arrived. After a while, the dogs would salivate every time the metronome was rung, even if there wasn’t any food present.
So was I really behaving like a salivating dog? Was my reaction to my dad’s whistling the embodiment of Pavlov’s theories? Yeah, pretty much! Now the good news is that the behavior my brother and I exhibited in our childhood was pretty benign. Looking back, I truly believe that the system my father put in place saved the whole family some stress. I’m sure you don’t have to concentrate too hard to conjure up memories of seeing some kid throw a tantrum when it was time to leave. The only thing that tops it is the gas face on their parent’s mug during the process.
In adulthood, the conditioned responses we have are quite the contrast to their childhood cousins. Their impact on our lives and the lives around us can be astounding, analogous to falling asleep at the wheel, while life driving.
It’s sad, but it can happen in so many aspects of our lives:
- Relationships
- Parenting
- Health
- Personal Development
- Work
- Political Views
- Social Justice
When we lose the ability to be present in these and other areas, we’ve reduced ourselves to salivating dogs, at the whim of whatever stimulus that comes along. Want a Scooby snack?
"We are all born into greatness and conditioned into mediocrity."
- James Arthur Ray
Creator of Harmonic Wealth®
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You posed a couple of questions: “Have you ever looked back at your reaction to something with a feeling of amazement? Was that really me?”
In a word: Yes.
J, it’s amazing how looking back, you can clearly see evidence of when an aspect of your life was on autopilot. Thank you for your comment and have a wonderful day!