[Photo Credit]

Yes, you did!  You did come here to be amongst people; maybe to interact or meet someone new.  But sure enough, you and all the folks around you are isolated in these computer bubbles.  You’re an arms length from each other but might as well be miles away.  What gives?

Recently I was on vacation, visiting family.  My sister and I decided to take our laptops and work at the local Bread Company.  Upon arrival, we spent the first couple of minutes deciding where to sit.  It wasn’t very crowded so we had our pick of several seating areas.  After choosing our seats, we setup shop and each entered our respective computer bubbles.

As time went on and it crept closer to the lunch hour, the place got more and more crowded.  I really love observing people and enjoyed watching as several trickled into our section.  It was kind of interesting.  I looked up as each person came in, but none noticed my gaze.  Each was focused on a single mission . . . finding a table that was near an electrical outlet.  It’s funny to see people walking around, looking under tables as if they had lost something . . . contorting their bodies to make sure they’d examined every inch of wall space in search of that powerful prize.  Since I wasn’t a three prong receptacle, I was invisible to them!

Some found electrical outlets, others didn’t.  But all entered their individual computer bubbles nonetheless.  All but one. 

The Quest for Connectedness…

I observed this one gentleman.  He entered the section where we were sitting and selected a table that others had ignored.  You see, this table wasn’t any where near a source of electricity, plus it had an interesting wobble (he spent a few minutes placing something under one of the legs to level it).  This guy was the only person in the whole place (other than the employees) without a laptop. 

He had a book or a notepad or something and started doing the work he came there to do.  Occasionally I noticed a puzzled look on his face, but wasn’t really sure why.  After a while, my sister and I broke free of our bubbles to converse briefly . . . I then understood his look.  He seemed to be immediately inspired by our dialogue.  Just so you understand, I don’t think he took notice because we were discussing something particularly interesting, but rather because we were actually talking to one another.  So after a minute or so he and my sister made eye contact and he could no longer hold back his enthusiasm.  He blurted out something like “Can you believe everyone’s got one of these things?!”, and the conversation began.

He of course was referring to all the laptops.  He was a journalist & college professor and had relied on the use of a computer since the 80s.  Though he was a long time computer user, he was convinced that this age of technology proliferation was injecting a certain amount of isolation in our lives.  He remarked on how the early days of personal computing were focused on utility and efficiency.  Now computers & cell phones are reflections of personal identity like one’s clothing or hair style.  Like the commercial says, are you a Mac or PC?

So, I could certainly see where he was coming from.  However, I think technology also provides the means to connect with those we wouldn’t otherwise have access to.  For example, I recently found a friend on Facebook that I hadn’t communicated with in over 20 years and he currently lives in Alaska.  Odds are pretty good that we weren’t going to run into each other.

But there was no denying the merit of his words and our human techno-cocoon filled setting was proof enough.  As my sister and I continued our conversation with this gentleman, touching on subjects like globalization, ethnicity, technology, teaching, journalism and African dance, we started feeling a change.  After a few minutes we felt the eyes of people peering out from their bubbles and taking notice of our interaction.  It seemed that somehow, if only slightly, each of the bubble bound inhabitants of our section noticed the paradox of the setting and got in touch with their own desire for connectedness. 

My sister rotated to another table and started interacting with some other folks.  The dense peace was officially disturbed and a few real world conversations were now going strong.  We had to depart shortly thereafter, so I’m not sure if the good times kept rollin’, but it reminded me of the importance of connecting with people and the value of deep relationships.

The truth, is that we all desire that connectedness.  It is the essence of who we are.

"Our deepest human need is the need to overcome our separateness, to leave the prison of our aloneness."

- Erich Fromm
Social Psychologist and Humanistic Philosopher

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[Photo Credit]

Though I had a few teachers along the way who cared about me and challenged me, the vast majority were mere cogs in the system.  They pushed me along, urging me to focus my attention and sense of value on how I did on a test.  Then as I approached the last phase of the educational production cycle (i.e. end of high school), I was urged to choose from this stock set of professions so that I could pick the right college and therefore have the right life.  I remember the list being something like this:

I don’t ever remember someone saying "do what you love", "find your passion" or "what do you think?".  It’s amazing how living has broadened my awareness of the many various types of professions in existence.  Some of them didn’t exist when I was in high school (like web designer, my current one), but so many did and I just had no idea they existed.  Ahhh, the bliss of youthful ignorance.

An Alive Mind

Now I’m in my thirties and the ebb and flow of life has led me to discover many personal truths.  I had an experience a few years back where I had the opportunity to speak with some teenage kids who had some disciplinary problems, but had started down a positive path through involvement in a change program.  I’m not really sure why I was asked to speak, my life has been pretty ordinary by most mainstream measures.  So any way, I got up there in front of them (about 40 kids, plus adults), not really knowing what to say, thinking that what I wanted to convey most was the importance of using critical thinking to make good choices.  Looking back at it now, I know that I was conveying the power and value of an alive mind.

So after rambling on for a while, noticing that the crowd was becoming weary, I changed things up and introduced a short game:  The Value Game.  The next few paragraphs are a reenactment of sorts.

The Value Game

So everyone, let’s change things up a bit and play a game.  Here are the rules:

1.  I’ll ask two questions.
2.  In order to respond, you must raise your hand.
3.  The first person to answer a question correctly, gets a prize
4.  Adults cannot participate in this part of the show, though you’ll have an opportunity a little later.

So let’s begin!

Question 1:
What is the name of the artist and the song for this music clip?  (I held my smartphone up to the microphone and played a short clip of a hip hop song that was popular at the time).

Here’s the clip if you want to share your guess in the comments

Almost instantly, dozens of hands went up!  I called on one youngster and the individual answered correctly.  I invited that student to come up to the podium, to await their prize and proceeded to question two.

Question 2:
Before asking the second question, I mentioned that anyone who needed to, could come up to the chalkboard behind the podium to work out the answer.  What is 67 times 13?

There was a pause in the room.  A few students came up to the board and after a couple minutes there was a correct answer.

Then I had the two correct answer givers remain at the podium and I presented them with their prizes.  I gave $1 to the youngster who answered the first question correctly and $20 to the student who answered the second question correctly.  Both were excited and everyone clapped.  I then invited them to return to their seats. 

After the room calmed down a bit, I posed a question to the entire room (adults included) and mentioned that there wasn’t really a correct answer to this question.  "What were we comparing here?", I asked.

Another pause . . . a couple of hands went up and these are the responses that were offered:

• Hip Hop vs Mathematics
• You can make more money in math & science than trying to be a rapper
• Study more vs listening to so much music (this was an adult response)

Now was the moment of truth.  Life had come full circle.  I was now presented with a similar opportunity to the one my high school guidance counselor had responded so poorly to.  I had the opportunity to leave them with something broader to ponder.  To be the turning point in their lives.  OK enough with the dramatics . . . here’s what I said.

I thanked everyone for their responses and participation and left them with this thought.  Comparing hip hop and math is like comparing peanut butter and shoestrings or batteries and soap or airplanes and vitamins . . . each can be meaningful or useful in your life, but it really doesn’t make much sense comparing them.  My hope in this game was to compare a person’s ability to recall and repeat something they’ve heard before with a person’s ability to think and solve a problem they don’t know the answer to.  In my estimation it is 20 (maybe 100) times more valuable to be able to solve problems, because life will present you with challenges that your parents, siblings, friends and teachers can’t prepare you for.  In those moments you’ll have to leverage your own ability to think critically to create solutions.  Stay strong and use your brain (two of my dad’s favorite sayings).

Here’s a great quote that’s right on target!

"Most people never think, they simply exercise the mental faculty of memory."

- James Arthur Ray
Creator of Harmonic Wealth®

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