[Photo Credit]

I did some of my growing up in the Chicago area and fortunately for me this coincided with much of the Michael Jordan and Walter Payton eras with the Chicago Bulls and Chicago Bears respectively.  Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player that ever lived (my opinion).  His unbelievable skills, creativity, ability to come through in the clutch and will to win were just unparalleled.

For the non football fan, Walter Payton was the running back of the Chicago bears and set the all time NFL rushing record in his day.  He was quiet excellence embodied.  Walter Payton’s ability to not be easily tackled was astounding.  His determination to take defenders head on and to try for that extra yard at all costs was inspiring.  He wasn’t faster, bigger or stronger than his opponents, just more determined.

As much as I was in awe of those two talented athletes, I can look back now knowing that neither could hold a candle to my two greatest heroes.

Hero Worship . . .

There have been many moments in my life when I’ve been moved to tears.  Folks that graduated high school with me might remember me as the one who turned on the tear faucets once the senior slide show started during our graduation.  I was also chief of waterworks for attendees at my wedding.  There are plenty of other tear filled moments I could list, but only two that I can think of were inspired by pride . . . and both of them were related to fatherhood.

When I was young, my father delivered a speech at a Martin Luther King day celebration at this old historic church in St. Louis, MO.  I was standing on the side of a row of pews, next to this huge column, watching in amazement.  His command of the English language was (and still is) truly magnificent.  His skills of delivery outstanding.  I wanted to yell out to everyone, “THAT’S MY DAD!!!!”.  I was so proud that I started crying.  My dad has always embodied the kind of humanity that I feel changes the world . . . as a father, community member, activist, author, husband, business owner . . . a man.  He’s the reason I always wanted to be a father.

A few years ago, my daughter was taking west African dance.  She started just after turning four years old.  She was grouped with girls in her age group and they practiced and performed as a unit.  After a couple of months of practicing they began performing in public shows.  I used to help her practice her moves at home by banging out the rhythm she danced to on the kitchen table.  I purchased my first djembé to help her practice her moves with a more realistic sound.  At this point in the story, I had seen my daughter perform on several occasions, but one day her performance at a show just brought me to tears.  I was crying so hard, you’d think something terrible had just happened.  I felt so proud, but also in awe of just how alive she was.

My father and daughter are my greatest heroes.

America’s Next Top . . . Role Model

As a parent, I often think about the impact I have on my daughter’s present and future.  I want her to be the best she can be and that desire is not without frustration (mostly with my own abilities as a parent).  The quest to be a better parent and role model has often led me back to my childhood . . . back to memories of mastery.

I’m pretty sure that my father knows he’s my biggest role model.  He’s never said as much, but looking back at the way he parented me is proof enough.

When I was young and it was time for one of those father-son conversations about everyday subjects (big and small) . . . my father never told me what to do nor what not to do.

Instead, he told me who he was and why he chose to approach the topic at hand in the way he did.  He would explain why he didn’t smoke or drink and why he chose to treat all people (especially women) with respect.  He passionately made those beliefs clear, supported them with logic and made his life the example.

So it wasn’t that he merely lived up to the “practice what you preach” mantra; it was so much more than that . . . it was leadership.  He chose to lead, knowing that I (and my siblings) would follow.  What a phenomenal model . . . then and now.

My father and daughter have both taught me so much about life & love!  Thank you.

“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

- Clarence Budington Kelland
American Author

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